I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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