The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
