Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  from now on my penis is your penis

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  (650): from now on my penis is your penis http://tfl.nu/ipfj
  Replies (19) Good night (3024) Bad night (792)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.

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  (608): Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows. http://tfl.nu/05tf
  Replies (20) Good night (3027) Bad night (674)
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  (760): View more from California

  the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows

  (1-760): View more from California

  i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal

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  (760): the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows (1-760): i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal http://tfl.nu/0c7c
  Replies (18) Good night (2509) Bad night (719)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  just woke up in my neighbors garage.

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.

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  (931): just woke up in my neighbors garage. (931): scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage. http://tfl.nu/x40j
  Replies (21) Good night (9596) Bad night (1487)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE

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  (206): No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE http://tfl.nu/0vv1
  Replies (71) Good night (5748) Bad night (1375)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.

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  (321): I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one. http://tfl.nu/vil5
  Replies (15) Good night (6076) Bad night (1518)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.

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  (573): We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old. http://tfl.nu/bm7p
  Replies (5) Good night (1877) Bad night (1140)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.

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  (863): I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/1riw
  Replies (21) Good night (951) Bad night (1646)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.

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  (918): He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his. http://tfl.nu/1fae
  Replies (32) Good night (3217) Bad night (894)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...

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  (410): Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend... http://tfl.nu/j7kv
  Replies (4) Good night (1123) Bad night (602)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit

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  (501): somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit http://tfl.nu/n1zz
  Replies (3) Good night (1363) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.

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  (330): I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong. http://tfl.nu/hqmh
  Replies (3) Good night (1284) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea

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  (646): I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea http://tfl.nu/a1ln
  Replies (7) Good night (518) Bad night (761)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"

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  (604): Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money" http://tfl.nu/398x
  Replies (3) Good night (673) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (424): View more from California

  Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.

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  (424): Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner. http://tfl.nu/wg9u
  Replies (3) Good night (657) Bad night (303)

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