the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
