You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
