Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
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Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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