Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(469): View more from Texas

Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them

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(469): Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them http://tfl.nu/zk8b

Replies (7) Good night (2878) Bad night (709)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Wrong number and your a loser

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(215): It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular (610): Wrong number and your a loser http://tfl.nu/k831

Replies (32) Good night (1283) Bad night (8506)
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(937): View more from Ohio

What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.

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(937): What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease. http://tfl.nu/nyp8

Replies (97) Good night (1300) Bad night (2874)
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(347): View more from New York

I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant

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(347): I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant http://tfl.nu/amxy

Replies (29) Good night (1206) Bad night (5897)
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(206): View more from Washington

imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.

(206): View more from Washington

Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.

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(206): imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk. (206): Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy. http://tfl.nu/ynk1

Replies (21) Good night (6984) Bad night (799)
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(707): View more from California

i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.

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(707): i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present. http://tfl.nu/pwew

Replies (24) Good night (5106) Bad night (1395)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.

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(847): Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out. http://tfl.nu/8l4x

Replies (19) Good night (4548) Bad night (1316)
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(613): View more from Ontario

My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?

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(613): My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding? http://tfl.nu/fdqr

Replies (22) Good night (802) Bad night (4126)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.

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(248): Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed. http://tfl.nu/7r2l

Replies (10) Good night (3073) Bad night (870)
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(850): View more from Florida

Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.

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(850): Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer. http://tfl.nu/iky6

Replies (23) Good night (2777) Bad night (734)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.

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(410): I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it. http://tfl.nu/7121

Replies (9) Good night (523) Bad night (827)
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(917): View more from New York City

She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone

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(917): She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone http://tfl.nu/cug7

Replies (6) Good night (1088) Bad night (371)
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(586): View more from Michigan

I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you

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(586): I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you http://tfl.nu/0vyd

Replies (4) Good night (1177) Bad night (322)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.

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(314): Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy. (1-314): And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever. http://tfl.nu/uu81

Replies (3) Good night (259) Bad night (696)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.

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(215): i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass. http://tfl.nu/9tw7

Replies (7) Good night (625) Bad night (257)

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