Don't make out with my wife yet
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
