thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"