just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
