THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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