Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
