One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
