I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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