My brain says no but my pants say off.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
