I want to stick my p in your. b.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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