it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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