OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
