smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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