It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
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I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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