So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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