Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
