What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
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There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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