We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
