She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I could fuck to npr.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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