i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
