he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
