I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
