I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
