you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I FOUND THE LEGS
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
