On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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