Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
