i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize