I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
