Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
