It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
