Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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