he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
