Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Princesses don't give blow jobs
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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