i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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