im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
