Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
