wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You pole danced in your parka.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Randomize
