I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
