I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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