So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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