NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
