So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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