hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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