I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
