It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
