I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
