it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
