why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
