So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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