Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i came on her dog
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
