Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize