dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
