you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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