does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
