literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
false alarm, still single
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
