Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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