WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
