I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
