Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
