WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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