I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
