If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
now i know why i became what i already was.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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